Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig!

Stats!
How far along? 38 w 4 d
How much gained? holding at 41 lbs
Symptoms?  HUNGER (I thought this would have gone away by now), back pain, frequent pee urges, hip popping, increasing intensity of braxton hicks contractions
Looking forward to? Meeting baby, getting out of the house for book club this weekend!
Are you still pregnant? Yes.
One or two?  Just one.
Aren't you SO ready to have the baby?  Kind of.  I am enjoying my last days of quiet time and sleep, but also really anxious to meet Alex and, to some degree, to get my body back.

I am now officially on maternity leave!  Yay!!  I am super glad to be off work, but being at home is kind of boring and lonely.  I had forgotten about that from when I was unemployed. 

To combat this, I have decided to do basically what I did when unemployed -- get dressed like a normal person every day, go out somewhere at least once a day, brush hair, etc.  Be a normal person in the world, and not a pajama wearing layabout (which is basically what I did yesterday).

I have been productive, though!  I cleaned the basement and touched up the paint in the bathroom.  I am making freezer meals for post-baby, did grocery shopping, etc.   Today I will make my Tdap appointment and write thank yous for my work shower.

Oh and I also took photos!  And they include the first (and only) shirtless belly shots of the entire pregnancy.  I've never been a skin-showy person, but I felt like in pregnancy, at least one was warranted.  Here are my 38 week photos (from this morning):

Thanks for taking the pics, Dean!  If you notice that there are none of the stretchmarks I've complained about, that's because only one was visible in the front shot and I photoshopped it out.  Muahahah.  If only it were that easy in life.

Also, I am trying to just eat breakfast, lunch and dinner, since I've been so out of control hungry lately.  But now it's 10:30 am and I am really ready for lunch.  What is going on?  Maybe a late-term baby growth spurt?

Anyway, that's all the news for now.  Just wanted to do my weekly update!  More next week, when I predict I will still be super pregnant.

Enjoy This Time

Stats!
How far along? 37 w 5 d
Weight gained? 41 lbs
Symptoms?  "Lightning Crotch", back pain, heartburn (again), general difficulty getting around
Looking forward to?  Baby!

I was thinking about it today, and I have made the decision to enjoy this time.  It occurred to me that this is the only time in my life that I will be pregnant with my first child.  I may not have another baby at all.  And even if we do have a second child, these weeks are the last weeks that I will feel little Alexandra squirming around in my belly.

Dean and I love watching her move around when she has her nightly "baby party."  Even when she's hurting me by kicking so hard, I feel glad to know she's doing ok in there.

I won't miss the giant belly or the myriad aches and pains, but I will miss the wonder of how my body changes every day to grow a healthy baby.  It really is amazing how we are able to create new lives.

For these next few weeks, I am going to try to really appreciate being pregnant.  I will enjoy watching her squiggle around in there.  I will enjoy feeling her kick.  I will even enjoy looking at my healthy, pregnant body (and maybe take a few photos).

Soon enough, this time will have passed.  I may never experience this again.  And not too long from now, I won't be able to get pregnant again.  That time will have passed in my life.  When that happens, I hope I will look at other pregnant women with fondness, forgetting all the unpleasant symptoms, just remembering how amazing it is to be growing a new life inside.

I am SO looking forward to meeting baby Alex.  But for now I will make every effort to appreciate the little time we have left this closely bound together.

A-OK Today!

Stats!
How far along? 37 w 2 d
Weight gained? Still 41 lbs (let's hold there as long as possible, please)
How big is baby?  Estimated 7 lbs - big, beautiful girl!
Fun passtimes? Watching my belly dance, without me moving at all
Looking forward to?  Not having to work anymore!!! T minus 5 days and counting every second!

Sorry for my sad sack post last week!  I've had several awesome friends and family members reach out to me to make sure I'm ok.

I'm ok!  :)

As with all diary-type things, I just get motivated to write when I'm feeling particularly sad or cheesed off about something.  When things are A-OK, I usually don't think to write.  Things are A-OK!  I really am sorry for the big gripe last week.

We are making so much progress, and I actually feel like we are ready for Alex to arrive!  The car seat has been installed, her nursery is finished, and I think we have all of the absolute must-have items for bringing home baby.  Here are a few of the newest nursery pics:

 

Of course, once I've finished work (soooo close!) I'll use any extra time to get the house as clean and ready as possible, and we still have some "would-like-to-dos" that we'll get to if we have time.

Yes, I am feeling ginormous and clumsy and not super beautiful every day, but I also feel so excited about finally meeting Alex after this long wait.  And I feel grateful that she is seemingly healthy so far.  And I feel hopeful that I will have control of my own body again sometime soon.  We're all good here.

I think I was also freaking out about the weight gain and blood pressure spike from my doctor's visit last week.  Well, I have since dropped my blood pressure (from 140/80 to 123/67) by following the midwife's advice (daily walk + lots of fluids) and the weight gain has slowed.  I think the walking, even though it's only a little over a half mile per day, is helping my mood, too.   And I am stoked to finally have hit FULL TERM!  If Alex arrived today, she'd be fully "cooked".  But we still probably have another 3 weeks to wait, in all likelihood.

In the meantime, I took matters into my own hands and made a change to my appearance.  Not everything is outside my control.  I got bangs!  I think they make me look younger, which I love.

I can't wait to meet my little Alex!  I just have to hang in there a few more weeks now!

My Body is a Wonderland ... For Stretchmarks

Stats!
How far along - 36 w 5 d (full term THIS SUNDAY!)
Weight gained - 41 lbs  :-o
Shape - sphere
Symptoms - intermittent heartburn, back pain when walking, stretchmarks, putting on underwear now more akin to carnival ring toss
"Waist" size - 48"
Wedding ring/belly button - still on, still in
Looking forward to: The first DCRG bout of the season, going on maternity leave, being able to walk more than half a mile

I've been feeling pretty craptastic about myself lately.  This pregnancy is almost over, and I just feel like I did it ALL WRONG, but told myself that I was doing ok.  I have eaten too much, eaten the wrong things, not exercised enough, and now I feel like that's all coming back to bite me in my giant butt.

At 35 weeks I seem happy and proud to be the size of a minor planet.

My 36-week doctor's appointment yesterday yielded mixed results.  My blood pressure is way up, but not up so much that I should worry about pre-eclampsia ... yet.  The doctor told me to walk every day and get lots of fluids, so I'm trying that.  My weight is also way up -- up 6 lbs from my last appointment two weeks ago.  What???  I'd heard that weight gain slows down at the very end, not ramps up.

I was also disappointed to learn that my cervix is shut tight as a drum.  No effacement, no dilation.  No baby anytime soon.  I just hope she doesn't go overdue too long.  I'd like her to "cook" as long as she needs, but I will be going seriously crazy after October 7 if she hasn't hit the scene yet.  Also, while she was "engaged" (dropped) at my last visit, she has since disengaged.  Apparently, it happens.  She's just not ready yet, I guess.

The good news (and the most important news, anyway) is that Alex seems to be doing great and growing well.  She is now at an estimated 6.5  - 7 lbs.  Her heartbeat is strong and steady.

But I was feeling basically like a failure for my high weight and blood pressure, despite the fact that the doctor told me not to worry about it.  On the doctor's advice, I went for a walk last night around the neighborhood -- just over half a mile -- and it was *so* hard.  My back was killing me after the first block. 

It's really hard for someone who has run four marathons, done an olympic triathlon, and played a sport requiring four 2-hour physically intense practices per week to not be able to walk one mile.  I feel so huge and fat and out of shape.  It just kills me.

Then we get home and start putting on the stretchmark cream (which we have done nightly for the past five months).  I ask Dean if my stomach is a stretchmarky mess (I can only see the top half of my stomach).  He says it's not crazy, but that they are "progressing".  I get up and look in the mirror.  It's strechmark city down there. I felt so awful.  I started crying. A lot.

So now I am thinking, I am the biggest, fattest, roundest, widest person in the world.  I can't walk a half mile.  My stomach is covered in strecthmarks.  I am disgusting.  I was feeling pretty down on myself last night.  My being sad made Dean sad, and he told me that he loves me so much and thinks I'm beautiful.  I hate making Dean sad.  Love him so much!

So there's that.  I'm just going to walk daily and drink my fluids like the doctor said, and try not to feel bad about how enormous and clumsy I am right now.  It _might_  just be temporary.  I can get back into shape after Alex comes, if I'm willing to work super hard at it.  And I'm going to get a postpartum belly belt to try to get my waist back more quickly.

In other news, we had Alex's baby shower last weekend!  We had a great time and Alex got a ton of stuff that she'll need.  I am feeling more and more ready for her arrival.  Now I just have to clean the house, top to bottom, like a maniac once I'm finished with work.

Only one more week of work!!  I can't wait until work is over.

Stop Policing Pregnant Women

Stats!
How far along? 35 w 4 d
How much weight gained?  35 lbs (as of last week's midwife visit)
Symptoms? The Sampler Platter: Backaches, heartburn (sometimes), shortness of breath, hip/side pain, fatigue
Mood?  Excited and scared about how much our lives will change, and how soon
What do you miss? Alcohol, deli meat, caffeine, roller skating, the ability to walk a mile without gasping or limping
What are you looking forward to?  Baby feets for tickling, roller skating (when I get the all-clear), being able to diet, buttoning pants
Wedding ring?  On!
Belly button?  In!
Feet? Remain unswollen

I am starting to get pretty sick of everyone thinking they can police my actions.  When you are pregnant, people feel completely free to comment on what you eat, what you do, where you go, etc.  Pregnant women are fully functional, (mostly) rational adults.  Most pregnant women today are also very well informed about pregnancy and dangers for pregnant women.  Some women choose to take calculated minor risks -- for example, I ate a club sandwich yesterday (deli meats are a no-no), and I had a cup of coffee today.  These aren't things I do every day, or even every month, so I don't want to hear from you or anyone else about it.

This past weekend we went on our babymoon to Ocean City.  For the most part, we had a really good time.  We bounced in the ocean and pool, read books in the sand, played mini golf, ate fancy dinners, rode a boat out to Assateague island, relaxed, etc.  However, one thing I was really looking forward to was going to the Jolly Roger amusement park.  I even picked a hotel close to it so we could walk.  I wasn't going to ride the Zipper or anything, but I thought it would be fun to ride the carousel and maybe the ferris wheel (if it looked sturdy).  However, every single ride (including the carousel, and even the house of mirrors had this sign):

NO PREGNANCY

First of all, that lady does not seem pregnant.  Pregnant ladies usually don't just push around a stroller for practice, with their flat bellies.  But that's an aside.  You can put your 2 year old on a carousel.  Do you really think it's not safe for a grown woman?  And the hall of mirrors?  That's just walking!  Do they think pregnant women are so addled that they will walk into the mirrors, break them, and then cut themselves?   It really angered me.  I can make these decisions for myself.

At work, if I lift a ream of paper, people freak out.  I have one coworker who constantly comments on my food choices.  I tell him where he can put his commentary.  I went to a wedding where I was helping out.  I lifted a 10 lb bag of ice and was promptly told by several people to stop doing that.  If I can't lift 10 lbs, I'll be in trouble when the baby reaches a month old. 

So this is my plea to one and all.  LET PREGNANT WOMEN MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS.  I really, really mean this.  Even if you see a pregnant lady smoking.  Even if you see her having a drink.  You DON'T KNOW her situation or her life.  Maybe she was a 5 pack per day-er and has cut down to one cigarette a day.  Maybe she's 8 months along and this is the first and only sip of wine she plans to have her whole pregnancy.   Even if not, it's not your business.  It's not.  So leave her be.

Pregnant women are rational adults capable of making their own choices.  That is all.