My Body is a Wonderland ... For Stretchmarks

Stats!
How far along - 36 w 5 d (full term THIS SUNDAY!)
Weight gained - 41 lbs  :-o
Shape - sphere
Symptoms - intermittent heartburn, back pain when walking, stretchmarks, putting on underwear now more akin to carnival ring toss
"Waist" size - 48"
Wedding ring/belly button - still on, still in
Looking forward to: The first DCRG bout of the season, going on maternity leave, being able to walk more than half a mile

I've been feeling pretty craptastic about myself lately.  This pregnancy is almost over, and I just feel like I did it ALL WRONG, but told myself that I was doing ok.  I have eaten too much, eaten the wrong things, not exercised enough, and now I feel like that's all coming back to bite me in my giant butt.

At 35 weeks I seem happy and proud to be the size of a minor planet.

My 36-week doctor's appointment yesterday yielded mixed results.  My blood pressure is way up, but not up so much that I should worry about pre-eclampsia ... yet.  The doctor told me to walk every day and get lots of fluids, so I'm trying that.  My weight is also way up -- up 6 lbs from my last appointment two weeks ago.  What???  I'd heard that weight gain slows down at the very end, not ramps up.

I was also disappointed to learn that my cervix is shut tight as a drum.  No effacement, no dilation.  No baby anytime soon.  I just hope she doesn't go overdue too long.  I'd like her to "cook" as long as she needs, but I will be going seriously crazy after October 7 if she hasn't hit the scene yet.  Also, while she was "engaged" (dropped) at my last visit, she has since disengaged.  Apparently, it happens.  She's just not ready yet, I guess.

The good news (and the most important news, anyway) is that Alex seems to be doing great and growing well.  She is now at an estimated 6.5  - 7 lbs.  Her heartbeat is strong and steady.

But I was feeling basically like a failure for my high weight and blood pressure, despite the fact that the doctor told me not to worry about it.  On the doctor's advice, I went for a walk last night around the neighborhood -- just over half a mile -- and it was *so* hard.  My back was killing me after the first block. 

It's really hard for someone who has run four marathons, done an olympic triathlon, and played a sport requiring four 2-hour physically intense practices per week to not be able to walk one mile.  I feel so huge and fat and out of shape.  It just kills me.

Then we get home and start putting on the stretchmark cream (which we have done nightly for the past five months).  I ask Dean if my stomach is a stretchmarky mess (I can only see the top half of my stomach).  He says it's not crazy, but that they are "progressing".  I get up and look in the mirror.  It's strechmark city down there. I felt so awful.  I started crying. A lot.

So now I am thinking, I am the biggest, fattest, roundest, widest person in the world.  I can't walk a half mile.  My stomach is covered in strecthmarks.  I am disgusting.  I was feeling pretty down on myself last night.  My being sad made Dean sad, and he told me that he loves me so much and thinks I'm beautiful.  I hate making Dean sad.  Love him so much!

So there's that.  I'm just going to walk daily and drink my fluids like the doctor said, and try not to feel bad about how enormous and clumsy I am right now.  It _might_  just be temporary.  I can get back into shape after Alex comes, if I'm willing to work super hard at it.  And I'm going to get a postpartum belly belt to try to get my waist back more quickly.

In other news, we had Alex's baby shower last weekend!  We had a great time and Alex got a ton of stuff that she'll need.  I am feeling more and more ready for her arrival.  Now I just have to clean the house, top to bottom, like a maniac once I'm finished with work.

Only one more week of work!!  I can't wait until work is over.

Stop Policing Pregnant Women

Stats!
How far along? 35 w 4 d
How much weight gained?  35 lbs (as of last week's midwife visit)
Symptoms? The Sampler Platter: Backaches, heartburn (sometimes), shortness of breath, hip/side pain, fatigue
Mood?  Excited and scared about how much our lives will change, and how soon
What do you miss? Alcohol, deli meat, caffeine, roller skating, the ability to walk a mile without gasping or limping
What are you looking forward to?  Baby feets for tickling, roller skating (when I get the all-clear), being able to diet, buttoning pants
Wedding ring?  On!
Belly button?  In!
Feet? Remain unswollen

I am starting to get pretty sick of everyone thinking they can police my actions.  When you are pregnant, people feel completely free to comment on what you eat, what you do, where you go, etc.  Pregnant women are fully functional, (mostly) rational adults.  Most pregnant women today are also very well informed about pregnancy and dangers for pregnant women.  Some women choose to take calculated minor risks -- for example, I ate a club sandwich yesterday (deli meats are a no-no), and I had a cup of coffee today.  These aren't things I do every day, or even every month, so I don't want to hear from you or anyone else about it.

This past weekend we went on our babymoon to Ocean City.  For the most part, we had a really good time.  We bounced in the ocean and pool, read books in the sand, played mini golf, ate fancy dinners, rode a boat out to Assateague island, relaxed, etc.  However, one thing I was really looking forward to was going to the Jolly Roger amusement park.  I even picked a hotel close to it so we could walk.  I wasn't going to ride the Zipper or anything, but I thought it would be fun to ride the carousel and maybe the ferris wheel (if it looked sturdy).  However, every single ride (including the carousel, and even the house of mirrors had this sign):

NO PREGNANCY

First of all, that lady does not seem pregnant.  Pregnant ladies usually don't just push around a stroller for practice, with their flat bellies.  But that's an aside.  You can put your 2 year old on a carousel.  Do you really think it's not safe for a grown woman?  And the hall of mirrors?  That's just walking!  Do they think pregnant women are so addled that they will walk into the mirrors, break them, and then cut themselves?   It really angered me.  I can make these decisions for myself.

At work, if I lift a ream of paper, people freak out.  I have one coworker who constantly comments on my food choices.  I tell him where he can put his commentary.  I went to a wedding where I was helping out.  I lifted a 10 lb bag of ice and was promptly told by several people to stop doing that.  If I can't lift 10 lbs, I'll be in trouble when the baby reaches a month old. 

So this is my plea to one and all.  LET PREGNANT WOMEN MAKE THEIR OWN DECISIONS.  I really, really mean this.  Even if you see a pregnant lady smoking.  Even if you see her having a drink.  You DON'T KNOW her situation or her life.  Maybe she was a 5 pack per day-er and has cut down to one cigarette a day.  Maybe she's 8 months along and this is the first and only sip of wine she plans to have her whole pregnancy.   Even if not, it's not your business.  It's not.  So leave her be.

Pregnant women are rational adults capable of making their own choices.  That is all.

Photobomb

When it rains, it pours!  I forgot that I downloaded a ton of pics from Dean's phone that I can now post, so prepare yourself for a gazillion photos.

I forgot yesterday to mention that I *FINALLY* finished the nursery valances.  I am really pleased with how they turned out.  Here's are two pics:

Dean is almost finished with the mobile!  Here are what the bunnies and birdies look like:

I think, the way he arranged them, they look like the Jets and the Sharks getting ready for a rumble.  If only they could do a box step...

And here are random photos, with captions below:

Brand new Baby Enzo!  I am a mere 20 wks pregnant here.

 

 Anita's porch, pergola and yard.  Isn't it beautiful?

 Anita's yard part 2

Ms. Judgement (a DC Demoncat) made these booties, legwarmers and this headband for Alex!

 

A side pose to see the skate wheels!

Joy, me, and Dean at Sapna's wedding! (I'm 28 wks)

Look at my handsome husband!

In other news, we are officially one condo and one mortgage payment lighter!  I have done my FMLA paperwork.  We are consolidating our car insurances.  Things are getting DONE and I love it!

Hooray for Midwives!

Stats!
How far along? 34 w 3 d
How much weight gained? 35 lbs
Looking forward to? Babymoon (this weekend)!  Shower (weekend after babymoon)!  Leaving work (only a month left)!
Wedding ring? Still on and holding strong
Belly button? Still a solid innie -- not even flat yet
Symptoms? Slight ankle swelling, tiredness, hip pain, emotional basketcase
Other Updates? I think the baby has dropped!

I know, I know.  I haven't been posting.  I try to wait until I have some pictures, but then I never have any good pictures so I don't want to post.

A lot has been going on!  I'm going today to close on the condo.  I changed from my OB practice to a midwife practice (they have OBs too, but you only see them if necessary).  The Bombshells took me out for a baby brunch/mini shower, and gave me lots of adorable fun stuff!  Dean and I were both sick last week and are now just turning the corner.

Cherry Blossom Bombshell Baby Brunch!

I was having TERRIBLE heartburn for a few weeks there, but now it's basically totally gone.  I think that was the baby dropping.  My belly is really low.

Aaaanyway, I am really excited that I have switched to the midwife practice.  They are so fabulous so far.  I feel much more supported.  The OB practice I was with, while I'm sure they are fine doctors, just didn't seem to care much about what my preferences were.  It's not that my preferences weren't safe, or that I was totally rigid about them -- they just didn't seem interested in anything other than how they always do it.  They even kind of sneered at me about it.  That's not who I want in the delivery room, y'know?  So I switched and I had my first midwife appointment and I am so much happier.  Baby is happy too!  She has been very kicky lately.

In just about 5 minutes, I'm leaving to close on my condo.  Dean and I cleaned all the last bits out of it this weekend.  I will really miss it.  I SUPER loved that place, and had a lot of great memories there.  I first told Dean I loved him there!  Awwww.  It was a great condo, and I will miss it.  I am also pretty glad that we won't have to worry about the mortgage on it while I'm on maternity leave.

Bye, condo! (sorry it's fuzzy)

Anyway that has to be all for now, since I need to run to the condo closing.  I hope I'll have more and better updates soon!

Click here for photos of my awesome condo in its heyday.  

This Is How I've Been Feeling Lately

Keeping Up with the To Dos

Stats!
Since I just posted yesterday, no stats except to say that I measured, and my waist circumference guess was right.

I just need to write down our To Dos to keep track of them. 

TO DO:
Change outlets in house with safety outlets - Dean
Register for basic infant care class - Meredith
Call current practice to cancel appointments and get medical records - Meredith
Call new practice to set up first appointment - Meredith
Fill out new practice paperwork - Meredith
Get and install safety latches for kitchen cabinets - Dean and Meredith
Pack hospital bag(s) - Dean and Meredith
Pre-register at hospital - Meredith
Do hospital tour - Meredith and Dean
Install car seat and have it inspected - Meredith and Dean
Register for breastfeeding class? - Meredith

I think that's all we have to do.  I'm probably missing something monumental somewhere.   Anyway, just writing it down!

Entering the Home Stretch

Stats!
How far along? 31w 1 d
Weight gained? 31.5 lbs (I'm pretty happy with that - could be way worse)
Symptoms? Sciatica, difficulty sleeping, stitch in right side, back pain, shortness of breath
Waist circumference?  Just a guess, but I'd say at least 48", if not more... it's BIG.
Stomach and lungs? Squished up (stomach is now under breastplate, I think)
Sizes gained? Holding strong at only one clothing size up.  Fingers crossed.
Wedding ring?  Still on!  I think it might make it all the way!

We're getting there!  Slowly but surely, anyway.  I feel like we're in pretty good shape.  The nursery is basically ready, and after the shower happens we should be completely ready for Alex!

As for me, I'm huge:

And underneath that shirt, I have my first stretchmarks.  We have been SO diligent about using the creams and lotions.  I was really hoping I'd make it through okay, but no luck.  I hope it doesn't get too crazy over the next two months.

We still need to sign up for an infant care class, do a hospital tour, etc.

But I think I am going to change practices and hospitals.  I just don't feel good about my current OB practice, and I think I will switch to an OB and Midwifery Care practice that operates out of Bethesda and that does deliveries at Shady Grove Hospital, which is very near our house.  It will be a much quicker and less stressful ride to the hospital, plus in Maryland you can stay at the hospital one extra day than you can in DC, even for a complication-free birth.  I think I'd like another day of nurse help.  And Dean could sleep at home in his bed if he needed to, without having to go too far away from me and baby.  It just seems like the right call.  And I want to have a natural childbirth if possible, and this group seems much more supportive of that than my current practice.  Shady Grove and their L&D staff does what your practitioner says to do.  However, if I decide I want drugs, I'll still be at a hospital and able to get them.  Perfect!

I am nervous about having the baby -- it is starting to feel real to me, and there will really be an infant to take care of in just two months!   But I feel ready to get back to normal, myself, and be able to move around and breathe normally, etc.


I am so ready to leave work at this point.  We are so busy and I can't keep my head above water at 40 hours per week.  But I am unwilling to work more than 40 hours per week.   Speaking of which, I should get back to it.  I just thought it was past time to post an update!